Cognitive conflict

I feel like a tennis ball in an intense final, being whacked back and forth between decisions and choices.

I love teaching children, supporting them to grow and develop in every way possible. I absolutely loved my role as a Teaching Assistant and left it in a passionate pursuit to qualifying and having a classroom of my own one day.

Since then my life has been full of stress and struggles, not from the workload or pressures but from personal and home life. It’s really important to keep home separate from work so I know I need to build up my resilience to stress before setting foot back into a school again.

Just before Christmas I was struggling so much financially and became completely dependant on the money I made from selling clothes and my boyfriend. I am always grateful for the help but there is no greater feeling in the world than enjoying a job role and being paid for it! I miss working full time so much, yet I love studying and having the ‘spare time’ to read more and plan fun activities and lessons.

I thought I had settled on returning to work and studying with part time attendance for a non QTS degree with the idea that this would suit my future personal aims of moving out. However just today having seen lots of posts about people retuning to university tomorrow, I realise I am a bit jealous. There’s nothing stopping me from returning in September except from myself! I feel confused and unsure as when I’ve set my heart on decisions I often change my mind. Crazy after I know how passionate I am about education.

So I have come to a conclusion that returning to work would be me settling for an easier life. University challenges me in so many ways and the role of a teacher will keep me working hard and have an active lifestyle. I’m thinking too far into the future, I need to take it a step at a time. First step now is to redo my teaching placement in April. Next step is to return to University in September!!

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2 thoughts on “Cognitive conflict

  1. Teacher training is hard. I mentored a number of PGCE students (and remember my own experience). It is insane at times. Just remember to use the internet for resources, essays can scrape a pass and that if you find yourself marking books at three AM you need to chat to your mentor about work load.

    Oh and gin. Drink lots of gin.

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